Mei 2011

Advertising's Creative Extinction

According to biologists, over 99.9% of all the animal species that have ever existed on Earth are now extinct.

The causes of extinctions are manifold. During the history of life on Earth there have been several instances of mass extinctions caused by natural disasters. Some extinctions have been caused by devastating diseases. Recently, humans have been responsible for extinctions. Some

Part Science, Part Religion

Advertising is part science and part religion.

The science part works like this. We run ads with an offer for tires -- 4 tires for the price of three, this weekend only. We know how much the ads cost. We know how much the discount costs us. We know how much revenue we would have generated without the offer. We know how much we generated with the offer. It's simple math to figure out the ROI.

Not Eating My Own Words

There is a handy rule of thumb I use to gauge the intelligence of people I meet. It is their ability to draw distinctions.

When I say I think the designated hitter rule is an abomination, and someone takes it to mean that I don't like baseball, I know I'm dealing with a nitwit. When I say I don't like osso buco and they assume that I don't like Italian food, I know this person can't think

Enhancing Your Global World, One Awesome Click At A Time

To: steve@apple.com
From: tyler@newageadschool.edu
Subject: Your Ads

Yo Steve,

We are reaching out to you because you (obviously) need help with your advertising.

Apple advertising looks just like it did 20 years ago. It's a product surrounded by a white background and some copy. You call that creative? Hello?

Dude, in case you haven't noticed, the world has changed in 20

The 2 Most Important Words In Advertising

Because I am a lazy bastard and the thought of writing five posts a week is a constant source of terror, I have decided to introduce a new policy around here. From now on, on Fridays, I'm going to recycle old posts that I like and that are still relevant. Today is our first Recycled Friday. It's a post from about 2 years ago called "The 2 Most Important Words In Advertising."

I've never been to

I Hate When This Happens

What if I told you that I could prove that TV advertising is twice as effective as online advertising at "creating and extending brand equity?"

What if I could prove that it was 10 times more effective?

How about 25 times?

Well, according to a new study released by Innerscope Research, Inc. and Fox Broadcasting Company, TV advertising is actually 38 times more effective than online advertising

What Not To Believe

This has been a pretty good week for vindication here at The Ad Contrarian World Headquarters.

On Monday, we reported that The New York Times had uncovered a deep dark secret that we've been screaming about for years -- that old people have more money than young people and the amount of money marketers are wasting on young people is insane.

Today we find that The New Yorker magazine agrees with

Someone's Been Reading This Blog

On August 1, 2007 The Ad Contrarian published its very first post. It was a momentous day in the great history of digital whining.

The post was called Aiming Low. It was about the massive stupidity of marketers who feel compelled to target young people because everyone around them is doing likewise. Since then I have whined and bellyached about this subject frequently.

Last week, The New York

The Monster That Wouldn't Die

(Apparently, Blogger lost this post yesterday, so I'm re-posting it today.)

According to the geniuses of marketing punditry, TiVo was supposed to have killed off live TV and TV advertising by now.

If anything, it is the opposite.

Nielsen released its "State of the Media" report a few week ago and, as usual, they buried the lead.

The key story here was, once again, the remarkably small effect

Abbottabadvertising

Just like your local helicopter news team, bloggers are always looking for the local angle.

In assessing last week's news about bin Laden, I think I've found a way to connect it to the ad business.

The Navy Seals, the people who actually did the work, seem to have put in a nearly flawless performance.

On the other hand, all the other parties associated with the raid -- the politicians and

Brand Babble Battles Back

So far, 2011 has been a very good year for web-monkey jargonistas. But we've been uncharacteristically short on brand babble.

As a matter of fact, I was starting to think that under the relentless pressure of social media claptrap, the whole art of brand babble was losing steam.

I am happy to report, however, that a treasure trove of recent brand babble has been unearthed by an ever-vigilant

Meet The Schmo

There is a new variety of cmo I have encountered recently. Maybe you've met him.
My title is cmo, but my job is advertising coordinator
My primary responsibilities are to manage meetings and get approvals
I always agree with the highest ranking person in the room
My favorite topic is the great things we did at my last job
The dumbest person in the world is the person who had this job before

Maybe Social Media Isn't Magic

The great thing about being a blogger these days is that there are now so many ponderous studies about so many piddling subjects, you can pick your way through them to prove just about anything.

Today I'm going to prove how smart I am by referencing a study by Forrester Research (whose research I never trust except when it vindicates my prejudices) and GSI Commerce ("Take advantage of our

The Great Pretender

The price you pay for reading this blog is that every now and then I go off the rails and write about things I have no right to write. Right?

Well, today I want to write about the meaning of life.

No, I'm not kidding. What is the darn meaning of life?

It's a question that has puzzled mankind since, well, at least since I was in junior high school.

Now the truth is that deep down inside we all

Pepsi Introduces "Social" Vending Machines. This Is Not A Joke.

Pepsi's obsession with all things "social" is quickly turning from tragedy to farce.

It would be one thing if these endeavors actually were "social" -- you know, like personal interactions between real human beings. But they are only "social" in the jargon-y web-monkey sense of the word.

Now they are introducing "social" vending machines. Apparently, you can buy a can of Pepsi and send a text

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