Juni 2011

The Law Of Conservation Of Stupidity

One of the most annoying aspects of reading anything written by ancient ad guys like me is our habit of glamorizing the old days of advertising.

Recently I've seen a movie and read a book that have had a lot to say about the silly practice of glorifying the past.

The first, Woody Allen's Midnight In Paris is an entertaining tale about the silliness of romanticizing earlier times. The second,

A Lot Of Mouths Yapping

We all know that "buzz" is a lot more valuable than paid advertising.

How do we know this? Because the experts tell us so. And how do the experts know this? Because they go to conferences and convince each other.

According to an article entitled "Publicists Pump Up Value of Buzz; Don't Believe the Hype" in the The Wall Street Journal recently...
"...public-relations specialists, reasoning that

Anyone In Advertising Still Interested In Facts?

Here at The Ad Contrarian World Headquarters, our commitment to our readers is so intense that we actually pore through media research studies to provide you with the most up-to-date, relevant information available.

Sometimes we even do it with our clothes on (I don't know what that means, but it seemed funny.)

I have just finished reading Nielsen's "Cross-Platform Report" for the 1st quarter

Another Social Media Blockbuster

"What defines an effective brand today?"That's a question asked by Leo Burnett in a very self-important piece of self-promotion.

The answer, apparently, is spending a shitload of money to create one of the silliest, most pointless gimmicks in recent memory, shipping it to Cannes accompanied by a bunch of super-important-global-worldwide ad geniuses, holding a seminar about it and, of course,

The Talkative Child

Since Sunday was Father's Day, and I'm sick to death of writing about advertising, I thought I would serve up a little Father's Day reminiscence.

My daughter was a very talkative child. In fact, when we went on car trips it was not unusual for her to talk non-stop for 3 hours. Anyone with a motor-mouthed child knows that this is not an exaggeration.

One day we were on such a trip -- my wife and

Nonsense Never Sleeps

When will these morons ever learn?

I read a post on a website called Business Insider recently entitled "The Brick-And-Mortar Retail Store Is Headed For Extinction." I thought I was in some kind of stupidity time warp.

This is the same nonsense I was reading 15 years ago. It was bullshit then, and it's even stinkier bullshit now.

The article was written by some guy who claims to be "Managing

How Apple Does it

Apple is not just the most successful consumer tech company on the planet, it is also the galaxy's most successful marketing company.

An article last week in The Wall Street Journal gives us some insight into how they have made their Apple stores into a retail juggernaut. More people visit Apple stores in a quarter than visit the four largest Disney amusement parks in a year.

Not surprisingly,

Parading Our Excesses

Now that the Cannes "Festival of Creativity" is almost upon us, it is time for some self-examination.

Unfortunately, there is nothing more damaging to the advertising industry than the truth.

It doesn't matter what we tell our clients about the seriousness of our purpose. When they see photographs of the Cannes festival like this in Ad Age* and they realize that every nickel that supports this

Making The Obvious Incomprehensible

Unless you've been involved in making a movie, it is impossible to understand how it can take two years and tens -- if not hundreds -- of millions of dollars. There is simply no way to adequately describe the painstaking intricacies of the process to someone who has never been through it.

To a lesser degree, the same is true in advertising. Clients really have no idea how long it takes and how

Gullible, Ignorant, Or Just Plain Stupid?

As a person who sits with clients every day and listens to alarmingly naive notions about the magical powers of social media, it is confounding to understand where intelligent people get such misguided ideas.

Until, that is, you read idiotic assertions like this...
"...social media is the lone currency that virtually guarantees a return..."So now social media not only cures jock itch and coffee

Volvos and Bozos

According to Monday's Wall Street Journal, Volvo's management are at each others' throats over strategy for the brand.

This should be no surprise.

Almost 4 years ago, on Sept, 7, 2007, in a post called "Smelly Volvo Families," we had the following to say about Volvo...
"Volvo is making a classic marketing mistake. They are trying to be someone else... they are aiming to be the second best BMW.

Advertising's Final Solution

Welcome to the 2nd edition of Recycled Friday in which I take a well-deserved day off and recycle posts of the past. This one is from about a year ago.

Good news!

We no longer need creative people in advertising.

We can finally get rid of those annoying, whiney, pains-in-the-ass.

According to The New York Times there's a new software program developed by an agency called BETC Euro RSCG,

This Just In - Social Media Not Magic!

"...how much are we encouraging the continual learning from inside our staff about how to leverage these technologies with inside of their communications and engagement plans but as well as just for their own personal communications and internal communication with inside each other and from employee to employee."If you like double talk, jargon, and brand babble you'll love this video featuring