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Activate Social Audiences On All Media Ecosystems

Friends, I have good news.

I read a PR release from a company named Unified that says it has a new product that can "activate social audiences on all media ecosystems simultaneously." It's a freakin' dream come true.

"Unified's enterprise marketing technology allows global brands and agencies to easily activate social audiences and impact consumer actions on all major social media ecosystems

Overcooking The Set-Up

My so-called advertising career has included about 1 billion creative presentations to clients. I have made many of these myself, and have witnessed millions of others.

As a result of sitting through so many of these things, I have developed a hypersensitive allergic reaction to "the set-up."

The set-up -- the front end of the presentation before you get to the work -- is supposed to

Ungratefulness Runs Deep

Dear General Motors,

I hope you are happy with the 50 billion dollars that I and my friends gave you a few years ago.

Are you enjoying it? Do you have nice offices? Have you been out to a few yummy dinners recently? Are your kids nicely dressed?

That's great. I'd hate to see you unhappy or uncomfortable.

Just one thing. I noticed in the newspaper the other day that you had a 3 billion dollar

Humiliation Builds Character

Several years ago, in my creative director days, I was shooting a TV campaign in Los Angeles. I was staying at a suitably swanky Hollywood hotel.

The hotel had an equally swanky restaurant. The maitre d' was a grimly efficient woman who presided over her dining room very much like a third grade teacher governing her classroom -- with acute attention and an equal amount of thinly disguised

I'm Not A Whore. I'm A Pimp.

It has occurred to me that I have not pimped my book recently on this blog.

The reason it occurred to me is that I just checked the sales numbers and they're dropping like Tim Tebow at a revival meeting.

So, since there are thousands of you (okay, dozens) who read this thing every day and haven't yet shelled out the meager pennies, I thought I would torment you with quotes from the Amazon

The Human Factor

If I told you that a tortoise had a body temperature of 83 degrees, could you tell me if that animal is healthy or sick? Unless you had some idea of what normal was -- what it's temperature should be -- there's no way to know what the number means.

We have a great deal of data and a great many metrics about online advertising. Other than direct marketing, however, we have little to no idea what

Davey and Me

A few months ago, the advertising industry celebrated the 100th birthday of David Ogilvy.

I was lucky enough to know David (or as I called him, Davey) intimately. I used to think of him as a younger brother. I thought I'd share my experiences with him. With you. I mean, the experiences were with him but I'd share them with you. You know what I mean.

Most people think of David as an elegant man